Sorcerer's Apprentice

Nicholas Cage's biography.

"It's The Coolest Job Ever."

I agree tagline, being Nicholas Cage would be the coolest job ever! I wish I could be a rich person for acting literally insane all day long. Anyway welcome to The Tagline! Today I am going to talk about the Sorcerer's Apprentice, a movie that as a concept is patently ridiculous, but was still enjoyable. Starring Nicholas Cage as the sorcerer in question, Balthazar Blake, this film follows a socially awkward physics power nerd named Dave Stutler (Dave Baruchel, who lent his voice to the portrayal of  Hiccup in How to Train Your Dragon) who leads a mundane college life after a bizarre run-in with Balthazar when he was a little kid. This existence is ended however when the evil sorcerer (and Balthazar's former BFF) Horvath (Alfred Molina, you know, Dr. Octopus!) is released from an urn that he was trapped in (with Balthazar, don't make me explain watch the movie). The two are both interested in Dave because he is some special dude who is destined to inherit Merlin's power (a little backstory, Balthazar and Horvath were both Merlin's pupils, along with a lady, they both had the hots for her, she went Cage, DUH and then Horvath betrayed them all and joined Morgana, who is an evil bitch, OBVIOUSLY), including his magic ring, which Horvath wants to use to release Morgana from a magic prison, do some really dark magic, take over the world etc. In short he is not a very nice guy.

Nicholas Cage is going to Hadoken you right in the face.

So to prevent all that bad shit from happening, Dave has to learn to be less of a wiener, and more of a cool spell-slinger from Balthazar. As you might predict, this is not an easy transition for Dave, who is a bumbling moron for the most part (despite being academically gifted, you know how it is). His situation is complicated further by distraction in the form of childhood crush turned smokin' hottie Becky Barnes (played by Teresa Palmer, I just saw her in Take Me Home Tonight, which I should review some time, it was actually not so bad) who he meets again in college and has an outside chance with. Balthazar isn't pleased about Dave's dating life though, because they are working on a pretty tight end of the world deadline, and also he has his own messed up feelings about his girlfriend imprisoned in a doll possessed by Morgana (again, just watch the movie, it makes sense I swear). 

This Halloween Nick is going as Harry Dresden I guess.

Now I will be the first to admit. This movie is not the most thoughtful film I've ever taken in. If you're looking for deep thoughts, an intricate plot structure, backed by sophisticated dialogue, or complex examinations of the nature of good and evil... well you'll be very disappointed in this movie. If you like movies about nerdy awkward dudes who become kick-ass wizards with the help of Nicholas Cage blowing stuff up with his Street Fighter powers, then you will get exactly what you're looking for. I don't want you to think that the plot is awful, it isn't it's just very straight forward. The acting is also adequate if not fancy, in particular I'm not sure if he's really acting, but Nicholas Cage makes a very convincing eccentric sorcerer. The special effects are cool, the soundtrack is pretty decent, not intrusive, all in all it's a fun movie to watch, so long as you aren't too cool to enjoy it.

Are you in Depeche Mode?

This film falls into the category of movies that narrowly miss being 'fresh' over at RT, it has a 48%. Critics complained about Jay Baruchel, which I think is not fair because I find his awkwardness amusing, and also that there were too many special effects and not enough something else. This always gets me wondering, because I don't understand how a lot of critics decide when special effects are overdone. I agree that if a movie is all flashy effects and no anything else, then you have a bad movie. But it seems like lots of effects registers as good if James Cameron is directing it, and bad if anyone else does it. I take issue with that critics. Other critics level complaints towards the movie that are vague and non-specific at best, which says to me that they didn't think much about what they were doing and probably just copied other review outlets that they thought were respectable. I read one person complain about it because of... I wasn't really sure, something about it not being like the Mickey Mouse short from Fantasia... or being too much like it. I don't know, ignore those guys, they are clearly asleep at the wheel. Against its enormous 150 million dollar budget, Apprentice grossed well, amounting a grand total of 215 million. 

The bottom line is, yes it is not a groundbreaking, world altering movie, but it is fun, if you're into having fun at the movies (and I know so many people are not). I frankly try to never miss an opportunity to watch Nicholas Cage act like a total lunatic. You shouldn't either! You're doing a disservice to yourself if you do.

That's all for today! Join me Saturday when I'll be posting some animated goodness for a change!

A little bit crazy yeah.