Top 5 CGI Family Movies

Hey everybody, welcome to a special Saturday edition of The Tagline! Wreck-it Ralph is currently in theaters, and while I still haven't seen it, I thought it would be nice to recount some of my favorite computer animated films that Disney now almost certainly owns the rights to, having purchased virtually every film company in existence (Ok that's not true and some of these are not Disney movies but so what). So on that note, let's go to the board with the:

My 5 Favorite CGI Family Films
(That I totally didn't tear up at the end of)

I want some little yellow guys.
#5 Despicable Me: Let's start the ball rolling with one of those non-Disney films I was talking about. Despicable Me features the voice talent of Steve Carell as Gru, a super-villain who through a course of events adopts three orphaned girls, in the hopes that he can use them to steal a shrink ray from a competing super-villain named Vector (Jason Segal). Gru intends to use the ray to shrink and steal the moon, because when he was little his mom wasn't very nice to him and wouldn't let him be an astronaut I guess. Gru is aided in his villainous endeavors by Dr Nefario (voiced by Russel Brand), an old guy who's hard of hearing. As you might predict, Gru isn't as bad as we're initially led to believe, he's just... well misunderstood. And really grumpy. As is the case in many children's movies, the plot is predictable, but the premise is novel enough, and it's quite entertaining. Also he Gru has an army of weird little yellow hench-creatures. They seem like pretty decent sorts. Audiences liked this movie at least as much as I did, with the film grossing 543 million dollars against its 63 million dollar budget. The film received mostly positive reviews as well. It did so well that a sequel is in the works, set to come out next July, with a spin-off featuring just the minions (the yellow dudes) to be released some time in 2014. If you are feeling like something light, but still witty, this is a pretty good bet.

Rat dances with Carrot: The Movie
#4 Ratatouille: Let's get a little bit weirder. There are lots of stories about underdogs, struggling against the expectations of society and their family, in order to follow their dream. Most of those stories are not about rats. Fievel Goes West I guess was about a mouse, who wanted... to be a cowboy? I don't know, I don't think it counts. Anyway, Ratatouille is the story of a rat named Remy (voiced by Patton Oswald), who loves food. Not just in the way that all scavenger animals love food though, I mean like Remy really loves food. The ghost of some dead French chef talks to him, encouraging him to become a chef! Yeah That's about it. If that sounds strange, just wait, because Remy meets a bumbling chef's assistant named Linguini (Lou Romano, who usually is a production artist instead of a voice actor), who is (unbeknownst to him) the inheritor to the restaurant he works at. In order to help him suck less, Remy helps Linguini cook, controlling his movements by pulling his hair. If that's not the most peculiar thing you've ever heard, then you are leading a strange life, and you scare me. Together, Remy and Linguini improve each other's lives, which isn't hard because both their lives basically suck. Supporting voice cast includes Janeane Garofalo as Collete, and Ian Holm as Skinner, who is the tiny angry greedy man trying to screw Linguini out of his inheritence by preventing him from discovering about his paternity. If any of this sounds sort of interesting to you, and you can get behind a protagonist who probably lived in a dumpster in the French countryside at some point, then this movie will entertain you. (for those wondering, this film grossed 623 million during its theatrical run. wowsers.)

We only trusted the horse with a sword.
#3 Tangled: Maybe you're more than a traditionalist with your animated feature length films. Tangled features the plight of the well known Rapunzel, who is kidnapped after birth by a witch, Why you ask? Well Rapunzel's mom (the queen) was fed a magic flower when she fell ill during her pregnancy. This flower was the one that Gothel, the witch, sang to to stay young forever (yeah just stick with me here). When Rapunzel was born, her hair had absorbed the flowers magic, but when Gothel cut a lock off to try and use, it turned brown and lost its magic. Hence she kidnapped wee little Rapunzel, and locked her in a tower, where she could sing to her hair (yeeep) and thus live forever. Unfortunately for witchy poo, one day Flynn Rider, who is a thief and a scoundrel (in a likable kind of way I swear!) stumbles upon Rapunzel in her tower, after giving his accomplices, the Stabbington Brothers the slip (I don't think I'd go into business with anyone bearing that surname). Rapunzel Shanghais him into taking her to see the annual lantern festival (which is done in mourning of her by her parents funny enough) and all sorts of complications ensue, involving the previously mentioned witch, and stabby brothers. The film is pretty, its funny, and features the voice talents of Mandy Moore. What more could a person want out of a film? Other voice credits include Zachary Levi as Flynn (you probably know him from the tv series Chuck) and Ron Perlman as one of those stabby brothers I keep mentioning (this doesn't violate the rule about good movies, because he doesn't actually appear in Tangled). Tangled had an enormous 260 million dollar budget, but still made a hefty profit with its 590 million dollar gross. Way to go guys.

Superheroes, that're the whole family!
#2 The Incredibles: Here's another very interesting premise. Imagine if there were lots of super-powered heroes, only then after a bunch of lawsuits costumed superheroes were outlawed and the remaining heroes were disguised and relocated. It's kind of like The Watchmen, minus all the murder and weird rape stuff.Well that's the case in The Incredibles, where Mr. Incredible, and his family, are attempting to lead normal lives, despite their super duper powers. Only thing is, Bob Parr/Mr. Incredible (Craig T. Nelson, you know, from Coach) has been moonlighting as a crime fighter with his friend Lucius Best/Frozone (voiced by Samuel L. Jackson). This eventually gets him into trouble, requiring his wife, the former Elastigirl (Holly Hunter, who I liked best in Raising Arizona) to come save him. She ends up with their children, Dashiell "Dash" and Violet. There are superpowers, there are henchmen with machine guns, there are giant killer robots! Everything you'd like in a movie about superheroes, but also a heartwarming story about family. Awwwwwwwwwwww. It's a fun movie, it looks flashy and you'll enjoy it. And it grossed 631 million dollars. Yee haw.

Dog with kamikaze hamster. 
#1 Bolt: Finally we come to my last entry on this list (I should add not necessarily my favorite, but certainly I teared up near the end) Bolt, the story of a regular dog, that plays as a super dog on television (and is voiced by John Travolta). Only being a dog, he doesn't realize that he doesn't actually have super powers. One day, dumb as he is, Bolt falls into a shipping box and is shipped to NYC, from his doggy trailer in Hollywood. When he arrives there, he is determined to return to find Penny, (whom he often saves in the tv show, voiced by Miley Cyrus) despite the fact that his super powers aren't working (he decides that this is because of the styrofoam, which I know always saps my super powers). Bolt heads west with the help of Mittens, a cynical cat (like all cats) and Rhino, an absolutely insane hamster who idolizes Bolt. This movie does what any animated children's movie should, and features cartoon animals doing things that are endearing, and trying their hardest, even when buildings are on fire and maybe that was kind of sad so sue me. This movie actually only ( I say 'only') grossed 309 million dollars, but I think that is probably still enough for everyone involved to pay their rent at the end of the month, on their space ship mansions.

That's all for today folks! I'll see you on Tuesday, when I will either review a new movie, or a not so new movie, as the mood strikes me!

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