|Feel the magic! and the fear.|
Yeah that's right, I'm going there. Even though it is not a movie, technically speaking, it altogether runs for about two hours, and it is...holiday themed I guess, so I'm going to make you all sit there and listen to me recall a dark thing that happened to me one time when I was young and foolish in college, and thought it would be funny to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special. Back then the full extent of internet proliferation had not quite taken root, and so it was actually kind of tough to find a digimal version of the Holiday Special. This is principally because it only ever aired once. Eventually though I did manage to secure a copy and what I found filled me with regret. As it turns out, for a fan of Star Wars, or indeed any other creature that could perceive their surroundings, it was not so funny. What it was, in fact, was one of the most traumatically bad segments of television I have ever experienced, and it is generally regarded as being one of the worst pieces of television ever created. You see Christmas is a special time, when we celebrate with our families, but I think sometimes it's important to be given a grim reminder of things past, and so I'm here to be the ghost of Life Day Past, and remind us all of the holiday that was.
|Nice robe you got there big guy.|
|Man this looks like a parody of a real cartoon.|
I'll let that sink in for a moment. If this is your highlight, what do the lowlights look like? They look like a weirdly sexual VR fantasy involving an aged wookie, or Bea Arthur regaling a cantina on Tatooine with a song about how it's closing time. They look like a coked up Carrie Fisher singing a song about Life Day to the tune of the Star Wars theme. That is what they fucking look like. George Lucas once commented that had he time and a sledgehammer, that he would destroy every copy of this pile of bantha poodoo, but alas, with the advent of the interwebs, his dream of destroying this monstrosity is all but dead. It's escaped into the slipstream, and now it will live forever.
|Bea Arthur and her questionable friends.|
That's it for today, I'll see you all next week as we count down to 2014!