Hey everyone, welcome to another spectacular week at The Tagline! Just for you guys, I went to the movies today and watched The Host, the movie adaptation of the only Stephanie Meyer novel yet to receive a movie adaptation. The Host takes place on an Earth that has been conquered by a race of aliens called souls, who are placed into human bodies and subsume their consciousness, taking over their host body, though often retaining memories. Melanie Stryder(portrayed by Saoirse Ronan, who you may have seen either in Hannah or The Lovely Bones) is a girl who is caught by the souls, and implanted with one called Wanderer. Despite this, she continues to resist her alien parasite, and tricks her into seeking out Melanie's surviving family and her boyfriend Jared. Over time Melanie bonds with Wanderer, and other romantic stuff happens that who really cares about them answer not me. This is Stephanie Meyer at her finest, and now I will elucidate exactly in what ways this movie is just like the Twilight movies (though admittedly there is slightly more of a plot in The Host than in most of the Twilight novels).
|Nothing suspicious about wearing big dark glasses to hide|
your eyes right guys?
|Get ready for twice the Mary-Sue action of Twilight.|
|I'll say this much, at least Ronan can act, unlike KStew.|
|Default expressions for both characters.|
do the aliens have everything in chrome? is that just their favorite color? How did the initial invasion happen, and why? How did we lose, when these aliens seem incapable of lying, and opposed to murder? Why does Melanie sometimes sound like she has a southern twang to her accent? All of this would have been interesting to know instead of two solid hours of angsty lovers mooning over each other. I guess I'm relieved to see this movie was almost as vapid as the Twilight films, and I just hope that Stephanie Meyer gets back to writing soon, so I can continue to hate her work for yeaarssss to come! That's all, join me on Thursday, I promise to review something less crappy.