|Glass breaking everywhere.|
Hello my friends, welcome back to the Tagline, where I promise I haven't forgotten about you all. Today, just as in the days of yore, I will discuss a piece of flaming hot trash that I recently saw in the movie theater, where they no longer let you put your feet up apparently. I will be talking this time about Insurgent, the stunning sequel to the smash lunch time bullying after school special Divergent. Take a moment to acquaint yourself and then we'll continue. Good? Okay. There are many reasons that I feel compelled to review movies that are invariably going to be trash. Sometimes I fear others will see them and be disappointed at how awful they are. Other times it's just really funny to watch how comically bad something is. Still other times a movie can be bad in a way that tells us how other movies can be good. Every now and then you get a movie that adroitly does all of these things, and this is one such time. Insurgent takes up where the first film left off, with Tris (played by the preeminently unlikable Shailene Woodley) and her grossly older boyfriend Four (Theo James) on the run from Jeanine (Kate Winslet) who is trying to hunt down all the Divergents because she thinks they're bad, and also is a wicked bitch. She heads up the Erudites, who are the caste of smarty-pants that in the first movie led a coup against the nice guys. In the process they murdered the parents of Tris, and she is as a result lookin' for some of that sweet sweet revenge.
|So is that your dad or...?|
|The Hunger Games? could be...|
|It was really hard to not burst out laughing during this scene.|
I would be remiss if I did not also mention that this movie has the 3D stink on it bad. In addition to scenes that just GENERALLY didn't make sense, this movie was also rife with scenes that didn't makes sense in order to be SUPER THREE DEE. The 3D bullshit wave is finally subsiding, but it was still pretty strong in this shitstorm of a film. We can all learn a lot from Insurgent, which is to say that it is a textbook example of how not to write, act, or direct a movie.
That's it for today! Join me again next week where I will hopefully talk about cars being dropped out of airplanes.