|That is kind of what she looks like yes.|
The same can be said for some movies, but I'll give you no such reprieve! Welcome to Thursday at The Tagline! Today I'm scraping another clod of dirt out of the bottom of the Netflix barrel, this time with a...thriller? No that can't be right, I wasn't thrilled, let's call it the borer, Walled In, starring the spectacularly untalented Mischa Barton as Sam Walczak (that's pronounced WALLZACK so you know walls get it WOW THIS IS A GOOD START) who works for her father's demolition company, and is sent to assess a building before its demolition. The twist here being that the building was the site of a string of grisly murders, presumably at the hands of the 'mad genius' who constructed the building Malestrazza (you know he's bad because he has a kind of bad sounding name) who is presumed dead by the time the movie begins. The only people who still live in the building are an old lady, an old guy, the creepy caretaker who gave me weird incest vibes Mary (Deborah Kara Unger,who was the creepy crazy mom of Alessa in the Silent Hill movies, I guess that's her specialty) and her son Jimmy (Cameron Bright, who was one of the Volturi in the Twilight movies OH NO TWILIGHT ACTOR ALERT). Spooky stuff happens while Sam tries to work, most prominently the weird obsessed attentions of Jimmy, who is clearly not all together, and also other spooky noises or whatever because Sam is apparently scared of the dark, and being trapped in buildings, which is maybe why she blows them up for a living?
|He's going to use his evil hand smoke! everythingistwilight.|
|He's the Spanish Dracula architect of the building.|
|It must be hard. Look at her she's like "Man, one minute|
you're a big star, next minute direct-to-DVD building movie."
That's all for today, I'll see you next week, hopefully with a review of Star Trek!