|See, like this.|
Okay I just made that up, but there was no actual tagline. So sue me! Hello friends, welcome to another fine Thursday at The Tagline, where I babble about movies and you continue to fail to voice increasing suspicions that I may actually be losing my mind. I know I promised you bad bad turtles, but I thought I'd save that good shit for next week, and so instead you'll be getting horror sequel part 100, with Paranormal Activity: THE MARKED ONES. Though really I think I definitely prefer "Actividad Paranormal: Los Marcados" as a title. Anyway, this... fifth film in the series is technically a spinoff, so characters from the other movies only make brief cameos (mostly just Katie Featherston, who is the only one to have appeared in every instance of the franchise). The movie follows recent high school graduate Jesse, and his two friends Marisol and Hector, as they are first messing around with a camera and decide to see what sorts of weird shit their downstairs neighbor Ana is getting up to. Everyone thinks she's a witch and SURPRISE she totally is a goddamned witch. If I've learned anything about California from these movies, it's that the female population there is at least like 25% witches and demon worshipers. Anyway, Ana winds up murdered, presumably by a classmate of Jesse's and then stuff starts getting weird around Jesse's house. He acquires some neat magic tricks, and the trio slowly come to realize that this new juice Jesse has going for him is coming from something that seems to be hanging around with him, following him and communicating its displeasure through a Simon (you know the light up game thing). This movie offers a lot of object lessons for the audience, and I will enumerate them as I go further into my thoughts on the movie.
|What nice sisters they are!|
|God, to live a full life having never seen shit like this.|
|Man, he needs to stop throwing tantrums and grow up.|
While there are only so many movies you can watch about having a camera while the devil torments you in your bedroom (it's different when you're lost under Paris honest!) this movie has a bit of a different atmosphere and setup than the other Paranormal Activity films, and managed to be a lot fresher than say PA4, which I found to be thoroughly not interesting. This movie of course lacks the pure horror of the original, but it is still freaky, and entertaining. That's good enough for a Netflix watch. For the record they are planning a REAL Paranormal Activity 5 so... I guess look out for that. That's it for today, join me again next week for turtles. Honest.